i hate to be myself when i am with u. because being me will only hurt u. and when i do, i'll be hurting too.

live

see.

all ur life u'll meet peoples; people with different attitudes, from different background, with different intentions towards u. be it bad or good, or some just wanna have a sincere relations with no intentions at all.

i've met those people too. those with good intentions. who want to be your best friend, who want to be your guidance or your forever lover. And also i've met those with bad intentions too. the kind of people who came into your life and ruin everything that you have built, those who give u nitemare every now and then and those who decide to give u bad memories instead of good one.

bad memories.
you wish u could erase it from ur memories capacity dont u. i wish i do. but the more i think about it, the more it haunt me in my sleep. it become this nitemare that start somewhere in the middle of a nice dream and end at the moment u open ur eyes, crying. then, i came to a point where u think, well i think i cant live like this anymore. so the thought of suicide came to my head like it was the best brilliant idea at that time. i talk to myself when i was alone, i cried till my head hurt like hell and there i was at the brink of sanity, losing it every minute.

but, god loves me. He is giving me second chance. so he gave me an angel. to guide me, to support me, to help me to go through the pain. he helped me. a lot.

my angel taught me something.
 'start over. Create new memories. good memories. and let bygones be bygones.'

So, now i'm starting over. with my angel by my side. creating nice memories. live my life to the fullest. ride the roller coaster of life and enjoys every moment of it. and before i go to sleep, i'll think about all the nice thing that happen that day, so there wont be nitemare but only sweet dreams. and never, not even once i think about suicide ever since.

Life is beautiful, darling. live the life while u can.

Dang!

fuckup

I want to post something in here. I swear, i do. 

There's like thousands of words i really want to spill out in here. I dont know why but i want somebody to know what is actually in my head, even if i dont know who u are. i dont care. i just want to spill my heart out. i want people to know what i feel and how i am feeling right now.

Well, i keep trying to put in the right word here, to actually describe all this mix feeling in me. i really try. really really try. 

shit.

i know i'm trying.

Never!

Dont make me run, when i never intend to walk.
Dont make me laugh, when i never want to smile.

Never make me do, what i never want to do.

Exam la sial

Fail. Its something you have to deal with.

especially in exams.

yup.

Dang!

billionaire

more crazy ass picture here.

Telur

Kahwin dan bercinta. Dua fasa yang berbeza. sama tapi tak serupa. Orang yang sama ( kalau kau kahwin org yang sama masa kau bercintalah) , tapi keadaan dan persekitaran berubah. Contohnya.. ( drum roll sikit....)

Situasi 1 : Awek terjatuh sebab tersadung batu


Bercinta :

"Kurang hajar punya batu! Tak nampak ke awek aku nak lalu?? Bodoh!! Sayang ok sayang? kesian baby girl.." Marahkan batu.

Berkahwin :

"Bodoh! Buat malu muka aku je. Batu besar tu pon ko tak nampak ke ha? Mata kau letak mana? Lutut??" Marahkan isteri.

Situasi 2 : Terkentut

Bercinta :

"Eei.. baby, u kentut eh? comel la u ni....." *cubit-cubit manja*

Berkahwin :

"Bodoh... Busuk la gile...... Tak de kesedaran sivik lansung!" *Lempang-lempang *

Situasi 3 : Berjalan-jalan

Bercinta :

" Berat eh sayang? meh Bie pegang.."
Tangan kiri bawa handbag awek, tangan kanan bawak shopping bags, belakang bawa backpack berisi laptop gabak milik awek. Dan kalau boleh, dengan awek sekali nak tolong dukung.

Berkahwin :

Anak sulung lari kat suami.

" Kau pergi kat mama kau. aku lempang kang.."

Anak pun pergi paut kat tangan kanan isteri, tangan kiri bawak groceries bags 2,3 karung, bawak hangbag sambil tolak stroller anak nombor dua. Sambil dukung anak bongsu.

Suami dah sebatu kat depan. Bawak telur je.

Dang!